I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Well, maybe it's less thinking and more self-examination. There were a few things I wanted to change about myself, not big things, I suppose, but things nonetheless.
In case you're wondering here's what I came up with. Spend less time piddling around on the internet, more quality time with my kids and husband. Because we're around each other all the time I tend to just assume we're spending the right amount of time together, but maybe we're not always.
Read less fiction and more non-fiction. By non-fiction I mostly mean books relating to, and helping to grow my faith more. And just picking up the Bible more.
Spend less time worrying, and more time praying. This his been a biggie for me. And it's taking me a few weeks to automatically go to prayer when something pops up in my life, but the difference has been tangible.
It just goes to show you, no matter how long you have been a Christian (for me the amount of time is indeterminable) you're never going to figure it all out. God always has more He wants to teach you.
This was the first verse I memorized when I was a kid in Awana: Hebrews 12:1-2 "Let us run with endurance the race that has been set before us. Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith."
So often the Christian life is referred to as a "walk" but it's much less of a walk and more like the longest marathon of your life. I ran a 5K once, it sucked, it was hard. Everyone knows for a race you have to train, and this race that Hebrews talks about is no different. I guess that was my problem, I forgot I was racing. I forgot to run. I was just trudging along, dragging my feet, not fixing my eyes on Jesus at all. Somehow I got all caught up in a life that had less to do with Him and more to do with me.
The good news is that I've realized that, and like I said earlier, I'm working on fixing these things. The past few weeks have been hard on me, but I have had moments of compete joy and peace that I know can only come from Him, and that makes it all worth it. I by know means mean to get all preachy on here, but this is just what is on my mind today.
So for now I feel like I'm running, maybe tomorrow I will fall, but I'll get back up again. Because like all races, there is someone cheering me on at the finish line...