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This week marks the eighth week of my seemly futile struggle to get published. Wait, I'm kidding. At least, about the futile part. I hope. EIGHT WEEKS! Two months. I don't know how many days...errr...fifty-nine! Crazy. And yeah, totally expected. Nothing good happens over night. I know this.

Okay so eight weeks. Forty queries sent out in total. Giving them each 2-4 weeks to even get read (assuming they weren't automatically deleted) that means only half have been read and processed. And well, subsequently rejected. Granted I've received only nine official, in-writing rejections. But at this point it's safe to assume all ten of my original queries sent eight to seven weeks ago are all passes.

I broke it down to a mathematical science. Or something like that in my head. The way I see it, or should see it but often don't, the more queries I send the greater my chances are, right? Makes sense. So I'll just keep plugging a long until....welll, something's gotta give, right? Hopefully it won't be my sanity/hope.

We'll see...

What it's like....

When I tell people that I homeschool usually their reaction is something like this, "Wow, that's great, I couldn't do that!" And then they usually go on to elaborate all the reasons why they couldn't possibly homeschool in a million years. I'm really not sure why they do this. I could really care less if you don't want to homeschool, just say so and I promise I won't be offended. In fact, I might be slightly more offended when you basically imply that I'm insane for wanting to. Just saying.

Why do I homeschool? Simple. It's all I know. Really, it would be ten times more foreign and weird for me to consider sending my kids to public school. Probably the same feeling you feel when you think about homeschooling. Does that sound right? I mean, really, for our family it was very much a non-choice.

And yeah, most days I think I'm insane for doing so. Days like today, when it's all just an exercise in futility. An uphill struggle the whole way. Like banging your head against a wall, repeatedly. Enough metaphors for you? You get the idea right? And this is my "good" student we're talking about here!

So again, why do I do it? Why did my mom do it before me? Um, we're insane, that's why. And yeah, my mom reads this blog and I'm sure she's not offended by my saying so! Insanity. Plain and simple. There's also the fact that I can hold this over their heads for as long as I like. The fact that I taught them EVERYTHING. I've already penned, at least in my head, some of my thank yous for when my book gets published. The line to my mom is going to go something like this. For my mom. Who quite literally taught me everything I know.

Someday when my kids are older they'll get it. I hope. And at least appreciate a fraction of what I did for them. You know, like sending them to their rooms because they won't finish their vocabulary worksheet on time.

Speechless...

There have been very few times in my life when I have been, quite literally, without words. And when I say very few I mean, maybe twice? Usually when I can't find the right words to say I just use fifty of the wrong words. I think you know what I mean.

So, in the past few days I've really wanted to sit down and blog about my weekend away. But in my attempt to fully articulate just how much fun I had, I find myself coming up short. Maybe there are no words? Does that sound cheesy? I don't know. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. And if it does, I don't care. I don't have a lot of friends. I didn't go to regular high school or regular college. My whole life I've been relatively transient and I have a hard time getting to know people. Or when I do they decide they don't like me or I don't like them  for whatever reason. So to spend a weekend away from my family, with seven other women who I get along with perfectly, is kind of amazing. I mean, really.

Dude, I'm rambling. Sorry. See what I mean about using fifty of the wrong words instead of the one right word? Let's try a different approach, shall we?

So this is what I look like speechless? And errr... embarrassed? You didn't think that was possible, did you?



And this is what I look like with said amazing friends!


Laura (who was our amazing host for the weekend) has posted more pics on her blog if you're interested. And I don't think I could say thank you enough to her and her family for hosting us crazy people, and to everyone who made it possible for me to come on this trip!

Flying solo...

That's right! Not only am I jumping on a plane this afternoon heading in my favorite direction (South!), I'm flying solo! Seriously, the last time I flew alone I was flying from Georgia to Texas to visit my best friend. But that was almost ten years ago. In previous years I've flown several times, mostly with both kids on my own. You all know what a huge challenge that can be. Not this time. This time it's just me, and my suitcase. It's going to be a breeze.

Where am I headed? Let me reiterate. I'm going to go spend the weekend at a friend's house. Me and seven other awesome ladies I've gotten to know over the past few years. I've only met three of them in person, so four are new to me. But that doesn't make any difference. So far they have been my support system through cross-country moves, my virtual shoulder to cry on, especially lately, and my on-line focus group and cheerleaders though my book writing and publishing process. Pretty amazing if you ask me.

So yeah, to say I'm excited is a bit of an understatement!

Because it's my favorite subject...

ME! And also because I'm hold right now, and have nothing better to do. Laura (whose house I'm going to tomorrow!) posted a meme on her blog and then added her own questions at the bottom. And I sorta like talking about myself, really? REALLY! And I'm still on hold...

Here goes nothing!


1. What is your favorite Girl Scout cookie?
Ha ha! I think this one was just for me. Wait for it...I'VE NEVER HAD GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!


2. What is the one item on which you always splurge?
Shoes! I just got my first pair of Converse, and at $45 they are the most expensive shoes I own. Yup, you read that right.


3. What's the best book you've read in the last 10 years?
TWILIGHT!!! No, not really. This is so hard, because I'm pretty picky. Umm, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is up there.


4. What is your favorite summer drink?
Ummm, can I tell you in person?


5. Spring or fall?
Oh spring, without a doubt. Especially living in New England, spring is most welcome after a long, cold winter. Fall is nice here too, but it's just the harbinger of doom in my opinion.


6. If you are not doing your dream job right now, what would it be?
Being a stay-at-home mom/homeschool mom has always been my dream. But I'm now expanding that dream to include published writer. Aim high!


7. Is there a better movie role model than Maude?
I have no idea who that is....so... Princess Leia? Frodo Baggins? Harry Potter? GAH, I can't decide!


8. If you had $100 to spend at Target, what would you buy?
Pistachio nuts. $100 worth of nuts.


9. Have you ever tried boxed wine? If it was good, what was the brand?
Nope.


10. If you could meet one blogger who would it be?
Welllllll, I've already been fortunate to meet quite a few other bloggers. Next on my list is Jenn! She said she would come to my book release party though, whenever that happens.


1. If I could photograph you doing anything, what would it be?
Sneezing...oh wait wait, eating. Definitely eating. Those are my favorite.

Blah blah blah...

That's basically how I feel this morning. Yesterday was so bloody long. My daughter has hit the terrible twos with a force that would give a normal mommy whiplash. Last night at dinner she absolutely refused every single thing the rest of us were eating and then proceeded to SCREAM ALL NIGHT LONG. No she's not sick, she's just a terror.

I've now come to realize, what I always have known in the back of my head. Elijah was not good preparation for being a mom. One of my friends in my mom's group, who watched him and the other kids last week, told me he was a "saint'. Yup, Saint Elijah, that sounds about right.

I'm kidding, really. He has his moments too. They're just much milder and less frequent than his sister's moments. See, right now he's reading quietly in the library. In a minute I'll ask him to go get dressed and do his chores, which he will most likely do without a fuss. Meanwhile his sister is hanging on my leg saying something over and over again. What is that? "I poop I poop". Uh oh.

Okay. Now what was I saying? I'M LEAVING IN TWO DAYS!

That's all. Carry on.

Now I know...

I wasn't really planning on blogging about this, but as usual, I find I do better after I'm able to get things out of my head on paper. Well, you know what I mean.

As a writer, specifically a writer of an action/adventure novel, I write a lot about fear. In fact, a good portion of my book talks a lot about my main character facing her fears, and in the second one, more things happen to challenge her in this way. I'm always looking for appropriate ways of describing this fear. Ice running through your veins. Your heart stopping, stomach churning, that sort of fear.

See, I thought I knew what fear was. When I was in labor with Elijah, during the middle of the night his heart rate plummeted and about half a dozen nurses rushed into the room barking orders at me and each other. Everything was fine, of course, but I didn't soon forget that rush of fear, and the helplessness I felt in that moment. Less than a month ago, when I found out my dad had cancer, I felt that fear too, but different this time. It was a slow burning fear, where all the what ifs drifted in and out of my consciousness day by day. Until finally I was able to convince myself everything would be okay.

On Saturday the kids and I were at a birthday party. Though a series of events, Sophia ended upstairs with some of the other grownups. To be honest I have a hard time even saying this, because I still fully blame myself. But it is what it is. I was sitting on the couch in the living room when I heard the commotion of one or several kids falling down the stairs. That was my first taste of fear, somehow I just knew. Sure enough, it was Sophia. I rushed to her side at the bottom of the stairs, at this point she was crying a little. But when I picked her up, she sucked in a deep breath like she was getting ready to wail loudly, but the sound never came. I was calling her name frantically now, and sat on the couch. When I finally got a good look at her I realized she was completely unconscious. I think I just stared dumbly at her for a full fifteen seconds before I realized I should check her breathing, part of me didn't want to, because what would I have done if she hadn't been breathing? I vaugely remember all the other people in the room at this point, someone is calling 911. Elijah is sitting beside me, though he didn't have clue what was going on. I put my hand on her chest and feel her heart beating. And when I lean over to listen, her breath is coming slow and shallow. It now occurs to me, like an idiot, that I'd better pray, because her eyes were still closed. So I do. I couldn't tell you the exact words if I tried, I'm sure there was some begging involved. I close my eyes. I opened them. So did she.

It wasn't until afterwards that the fear became real, my reaction visceral. She cried a little and I stood up. One of my friends from church came over and put her arms around me while I completely broke down, sobbing, "I thought she was dead," over and over again. Just thinking about it now makes me nauseous. I remember walking around the room, waving my arms frantically and thinking I was going to throw up. Everyone around me is in motion now, my friend who was hosting the party has her husband take Elijah and my car back to our place (about ten minutes away to pick up Matthew). They ask me if I still want the ambulance to come and I say yes. Sophia is extremely pale and acting lethargic. I feel deaf, blind and mute all the same time. The EMTs come and ask me a thousand questions. By now my fear has subsided and all I can think about is how horrible, overwhelmingly guilty I feel. How could I have let this happen.

We ride in the ambulance to the hospital, Yale Children's is just five minutes away. They take us into one of the trauma rooms that I've never seen before. About ten different people swarm into the room to tend to my baby. Matthew calls, he's five minutes away. I can't think about facing him, though I only want him to hurry. How was I going to explain this? And then it's over, one by one the nurses and doctors leave the room and it's only us and one other woman. They explain to me she was perfectly fine, she didn't even need a CT scan. However they want to monitor her for the next four hours just to be on the safe side. They tell me I can hold her now, which I hadn't been able to do since the EMTs arrived. I pick her up and sit down on the hospital bed, her head on my chest and she's quiet and calm for the first time in a while.

Holy giant exhale. Just like that. At some point it occurs to me to call Matthew back and tell him she's fine. They move us to a private room. Matthew shows up with Elijah. He takes her from me and I start to tell him my version of the story, which he had already mostly heard from our friend who drove him there. I'm just to the point where I break down again, trying to describe just how afraid I was, when social services walks in and asks me what happened. Again I'm afraid, even though I was certain nothing was suspicious to them, it was truly an accident.

For the next four hours we make phone calls to family members. I tell the story over and over again. But I can't seem to bring myself to face the fear that I truly felt. The one that I said to my friend when it was all over. What I really thought was happening. Even now, with the whole deal far behind us I can still remember how I felt exactly for those ten seconds when I thought she wasn't going to wake.

Riding in the ambulance I had one single though that pushed through all the others. Someone heard my prayer. Specifically, God heard my prayer, in that moment. Maybe she would have woken up anyway, I'll never know. But just that one time, I was sure someone was listening. And what a feeling that was. The total opposite of fear.

Wearable words...

I like words, that's probably a vast understatement. Maybe it's the writer in me, maybe it's just something pre-programmed in my head. When I was a kid, my dad used to take out our dictionary and quiz me on words and their definitions, I always thought it was fun.

Anyway, so when I saw this necklace tutorial on Pinterest I became obsessed. I had to have it! Luckily for me, I have jewelry making experience, my mom and I both went through a huge jewelry making phase a few years back. I still have all my tools and findings. But I had to make a special trip to Michael's for the other stuff. Yesterday I finally made it out and picked up all the stuff I needed. I could not wait to get started. Of course, the directions include using two book pages. Well, I couldn't think of any books I could bare to rip pages out of it. And I wasn't really interested in wearing just any old book pages. Everything I do has to be deliberate, it's the OCD/perfectionist inside of me. Of course, I printed two pages of my book to use instead. Awesome, right? Not only that, it had to be two meaningful pages. So which two? That was easy. The last two. The hardest ones to write. I know, I know, I'm crazy.

I spent most of my afternoon and all of my evening working on this necklace, because it's not that easy. Every single little word medallion had to hang just right, because you'd better believe I handpicked each little circle to show certain words. But, in the end it turned out...well, perfect.


 

I made mine longer than the tutorial called for, because I liked it that way, I think I also spaced my stuff differently.

Cool huh?

One day...

Yesterday my friend Laura did a blog post chronicling her whole day from start to finish. Since I've never been much of an original person, I decided to do the same today. I thought, quite mistakenly, that my day would be pretty boring compared to most people. Um, I was wrong. My kids made sure my day wasn't too boring. I guess one day in our house is pretty different than most people's. For one, I homeschool, and when I'm not homeschooling and being a stay-at-home mom, I'm a writer. People are forever asking me how I fit all this in. Some days it's not a challenge, some days it's a huge challenge. Yesterday was the latter...you'll see!

7:40- Wake up. I don't set an alarm, because Sophia is my alarm. She wakes up anywhere between 7 and 8, Elijah usually follows, since they share a room. Matthew gets up at 6:30 to start on his homework. I get up and fix the kids breakfast, make coffee, put away dishes. After the kids are done I wash the breakfast dishes, Elijah starts his morning chores (getting dressed, making his bed ect.). Then I get Sophia dressed, change her diaper and make her bed.

8:30- Matthew leaves for work/class. The kids and I start school with a Bible lesson. After I settle Elijah with some busy work, yesterday he wrote a letter to his cousin, addressed Valentine's and did his phonics workbook. While he's doing that I change the sheets on the bed and throw on the laundry. Sophia is usually running around getting into trouble this whole time. Yesterday she was super cranky and I had no choice but to put her back to bed. As soon as she was asleep I swept and mopped the kitchen, by now I'm also calling out spelling words to Elijah while I clean. (I also ended up cleaning out the refrigerator). Let's see, next we did a math lesson (expanded notation). While he's working on his math problems I do a quick blog post.

10:30- I sneak a little breakfast, finally. Sophia wakes back up and starts terrorizing us all. We try to get through the rest of school anyway. We still have geography, Latin, science and reading out loud to do.


Elijah working on his geography project, Sophia shoving a crayon in her eyeball. Pretty typical school day.
 

12:30- School is done, time for lunch! The kids get to watch a cartoon on PBS while they eat and I hide in the kitchen with my own lunch and read. I'm re-reading the Hunger Games.


Elijah eating happily, Sophia dismantling her turkey sandwich.


1:30- This is Sophia's regular naptime, she was super-crabby yet again, so I put her back down. Elijah then does his homework (yup, this homeschool kid does homework) and then he usually likes to play with his Star Wars action figures for a while. I take the time to do a little yoga and shower.

2:30- When I get out of the shower Sophia is still sleeping and Elijah is begging me to play the Wii, I let him, because he wrote me a hilarious post-it note that said, "Can I play Wii, I promise not to jump." While he's doing that I settle in to get some writing done.

Coffee, notes, and GO!


3:30- Sophia wakes up from her nap and she has a snack with Elijah. Normally we might go outside, but it was freezing yesterday. Everything from here on out was just crazy and chaotic. I'd like to say something like we all sat down and played and had quality time together, but mostly it was just a lot of this....




And this...



Um... (Don't worry, it wasn't open.)


5:30- Matthew finally comes home from work to save me from this madness. Well, not really. See he's taking three classes this semester again, so he basically heads straight to his library to get started on his homework. I start dinner while trying to corral the kids and keep them out of his hair.

6:30- Dinner. I made Greek chicken with capers, artichokes and orzo. Elijah ate it all, Sophia did not. Big surprise!

7:00- Not a bath night, play time with Daddy and books. Dishes for Mommy.

7:30- Bedtime for Sophia, hallelujah and praise the Lord, SERIOUSLY!

8:00- Bedtime for Elijah, ditto, but he wasn't too bad yesterday. After both kids are in bed I'm back on my computer writing. At some point I'll take my notes, and my Kindle out to the couch and proofread while I'm watching TV. Tuesday night there was nothing on so I sat at my computer editing until 10:30. Last night I watched TV until ten.

10:00- Read in bed. I went to bed early last night, because it was a cray-cray day of LOTS of whining. I fell asleep talking Matthew's arm off. I'm trying to convince him to let me have my birthday present early...

So in summation. What do I notice most about my day?

• Homeschooling requires lots of mulitasking!
• TODDLERS ARE INSANE!!!!!!!
• I wash dishes too much. (I really didn't list all the times I washed dishes.)
• Writing a books is a lot of work.
• I am part hermit. We don't even leave the house some days. Though I'm pretty okay with this. You can't homeschool if you're not at home!
• It's a good thing Sophia is cute...

*Also, I forgot to mention: check my gmail account fifty-thousand times a day to see if I got a response from any agents regarding my book!

Wednesday Randomness...

Since I don't really have anything interesting to say, I though I'd do a little randomness post...

Wait, nothing interesting to say? Are you as shocked as I am. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm almost always uninteresting, but I try not to let that stop me.

• I do love Pinterest, I get the hype, totally. Remember the sock bun? Printerest. Fun Geography projects for school? Pinterest. Last night I found a necklace I must make. I had to literally restrain myself from running to Michael's to buy the materials to make it. Like I need another hobby? My mom and I both went through a jewelry making phase a few years back, so I still have all the tools. But seriously, I think I'd better restrain myself from looking at jewelry how-tos for the time being.
• But I am going to make that necklace!
• UGH Sophia has already napped and gotten back up. This does not bode well. She usually naps from 1-3 in the afternoon. This means I'm stuck with her until bedtime!
• NINE DAYS!
• Until I run away from home. Maybe I'll come back.
• Oh yeah, I said I was going to talk about my finished rough draft. I'm so excited! I'm not sure if I like the second book better, per se, but it was much easier to write. The ending was easier than I thought it would be. Maybe because it was more of a happy ending than the first one, more closure. I don't know.
• I've now sent out 26 queries. I usually send out five every Tuesday, but yesterday I had added one extra to my spreadsheet, so I sent it anyway. I only have six rejection emails, but that doesn't mean that twenty are still being considered. That could mean that those twenty are rejections too and the agent I sent them to is just too busy to be bothered with sending me a rejection email.  I think that's pretty much the norm.
• I'm not feeling bad about it though, it's all just part of a very long and arduous process. All what I expected and am prepared for. In the beginning I was really unsure of how I would handle this blatant rejection. But I think I'm doing okay. If anything, I find that it's making me even more determined than ever to try and make it happen. As far as it depends on me, I will try to make it happen. If that means I have to send out thirty or three hundred and thirty queries. I WILL.
• Or so I keep telling myself anyway...
• Grrr doing spelling words with Elijah. FRUSTRATING. For me, not him. Yes, I'm a darn good multi-tasker. I mopped while he was doing his phonics.
• Is it my birthday yet? No? How many days then? Too many.
• Guess what I'm getting for my birthday? GREEN CONVERSE. Represent!
• I think I've had too much coffee.
• Speaking of too much coffee yesterday I had my usual two cups, and then was very bad and had a Coke with my dinner, something I never do. Guess who got a crap-ton of writing done last night? ME! I should over-caffeinate more often. And I still slept well.
• I'm going to need it too, I'm only six and a half chapters in to typing/editing my newest book. And it already seems like it's going to be longer than the first (which was only about 200 pages and 16 chapters). My problem this time around is that my laptop is no longer functional. So instead of getting comfy on the couch and watching TV while I type, I'm glued to my desk in the kitchen. Plus, sitting in the kitchen chair for hours on end is not doing my any favors. So sad, I miss my laptop.
• OH well. Chained to the desk I will be for the foreseeable future.

I've gotta go now, time to teach Science.

The bright side...

This is my official announcement that the winter doldrums are over and I'm coming out of hiding. Wait, you didn't know I was in hiding? Well, I guess not in the internet world, but sadly, in the real world. It's seriously been about two week since I left the house for something other than groceries. I know, it's dreadfully antisocial. I'm not sure how I got that way, I just did. Let's not reiterate all the reasons why January was sucky, let's just move on, okay? I don't know if it was just everything around me, but I didn't really feel like going anywhere or seeing anyone, period.

That all changed this weekend. I'm not sure if it was one thing, or a combination of things. For starters, we were all finally feeling healthy, it took almost three days for everyone to fully bounce back from that awful stomach bug, but when we woke up on Saturday feeling pretty good it was Matthew's idea to get out of the house. The day pretty much snowballed from there, in a good way! We stopped by the library to let the kids get some books, while we were there Matthew checked his email (our internet was down) and as an afterthought checked our bank account. He found our balance significantly higher than usual. Sure enough, our state tax refund was in. Of course, after that we knew we had some spending to do! It's been a rough financial year for us so far, and we've long since cut out any and all frivolous spending, not that we had much to begin with. First stop was the grocery store, where we pretty much threw things in the cart haphazardly, it was pretty fun. No stopping to add things up on my calculator!

After that, at my insistence, we hit up Target and stocked up on other necessities. And a few things that weren't necessary, I got a new purse, Matthew got a CD and the kids each picked out a toy.

Sound crazy right? Yep, that's our idea of a good time and living large. Ha. But I'm not complaining! Also on the agenda: going out to dinner for my birthday in a few weeks!

I'm not saying money makes me happy, but having a little extra sometimes sure doesn't hurt.

So that was kind of a big upward swing for us. Hey, I don't have to worry about us making the rent on time this  month, sweet! It's the little things.

And the big things. In other news, and this should be a whole other blog post, so I'll keep it brief. I finished my second novel!

Lowered expectations...

Remember that whole "January sucks but February will be awesome" stuff I was saying just a few days ago?

I take it back. All of it. January still sucked, but February is not my friend either. At least, not yet.

February started out nice, super nice, to be honest. It was sixty degrees and sunny. The kids and I went for a long and much needed walk down by the beach. But somehow, just a few hours later things took a turn for the worst. In fact, it was a very fast downward spiral from there. Around four I started feeling unwell. Like really unwell. Turned on PBS for the kids and curled up on the bed in a fetal position unwell. Matthew came home around five and despite the fact that I knew he probably had tons of homework to do I asked him to feed the kids dinner, which he did willingly. I think I got out of bed around seven, still not feeling any better, but unable to sleep.

And then it hit, the stomach but of 2012, which I'm pretty sure no one in this house will soon forget. By nine (don't read this if you're squeamish, like, not a mom!), everyone in this house was throwing up, a lot. Everyone except Sophia, who thankfully slept through it all. It was brutal.

Elijah seemed to get the brunt of it and I recovered the quickest. Thank goodness because someone had to be washing sheets. Oy. I cringe just thinking about it.

Wait...halt...am I really writing a blog post about this? Yeah I think I am. I'll spare you the rest of the details. Elijah and Matthew still aren't feeling up to par, unfortunately. Sophia is not quite herself either.

So February, what's the deal? Or does 2012 just hate me in general??

Let's look on the brightside: Today is February third. Next week we're getting our tax refund which means one thing to me... frivolous shopping! Two weeks from now I'm boarding a plane to head down South to spend the weekend with some amazing women (where I will give sock bun lessons). And then, one month from now it will be MY BIRTHDAY!

So there's that. Truce, February?

All hail the sock bun!

So, I have a new hair obsession. It happens. As a former hairstylist (I say former even though I still cut hair on occasion, but my license is expired!) I love new hairstyles. I've been known to lock myself in the bathroom for 45 minutes while trying to perfect pretty, long waves. Eh that still hasn't happened. And ever since I got my InStyler for Christmas (the best straightener ever!) I've been going for the long and sleek look. Y'all might remember my ill-fated haircut last summer where I accidentally cut off most of my hair. How do you accidentally cut off most of your hair? I'm still trying to figure that out. And I'm still trying to grow it out!

Onto my new hair styling obsession: the sock bun. Unless you live under a rock and don't know what a sock bun is, I suggest you check out Pinterest, which is rife with sock bun-pins. Now, if you've been living under a rock underneath a bigger rock and don't know what Pinterest is...well, I can't help you. I've been hearing about these sock buns, and also sock bun curls for a while now and yesterday I decided to check it out. And I was hooked. Elijah got a really good laugh over me putting a sock in my hair, then commented if I did two and pulled them over my ears I would look like Princess Leia. How is that not a win?

Anyway, I love wearing my hair up since I have a ton of it and can't stand it being in my face. I love buns too, but the sock bun is AMAZING. I will never go back to regular buns, seriously....

So, yes, you put a sock in your hair! Well, a sock with the toe cut out, I stole one of Matthew's since I didn't have any tall black socks, he won't miss it. Then you roll it up, like a sock doughnut, I know, you're thinking what I was thinking, right?

"I'm going to put a sock in my hair?" Hey, it was clean!
 


Basically, you put your hair up in a ponytail, I like my bun high so I put my ponytail high, like this.






 Then you roll your hair up and around the sock. If you really want to know how to do it, check out some video tutorials on YouTube like I did. The pictures aren't really enough to show you how. Even with my hairstyling experience I found it pretty tricky to pull off. Especially since my hair has a lot of layers it was really hard to keep tucking in all the ends. If I do it dry, I get a nice, messy sock bun.'


And then if I wet it a little (it probably would do better if I had some sort of styling product in it, but I'm out right now) I get a tighter bun. (Tighter bun? Who just laughed, be honest? I want tight buns!)




Oooh someone needs some color! Basically it's like the perfect ballerina bun!

And the back, dang girlfriend needs some hairspray!




The front. My what big eyes you have! And nose. Hmmm.

Supposedly, you can sleep in a really high one on top of your head and get pretty curls, but I think my hair is just too thick and not quite long enough. It made mine look like this.


Long story short, I'm obsessed with big buns! Who doesn't love big buns!?! Alright, laugh it up...