That's how I'm feeling today. It doesn't help that I have both my babies' birthdays coming up in the next few weeks or that it's Mother's day this weekend.
I'm trying to decide which birthday I'm going to be the most emotional over. Sophia is turning one, which is pretty big. This time last year she wasn't even in this world. She was just a giant baby inside my tummy, kicking the crap out of my ribs and causing me to get up every five seconds to pee. And now here she is. A little person. Not even a baby baby anymore, but she's crossing the bridge to toddler baby. She's trying to walk which both excites me and freaks me out. I don't know why, Elijah walked at ten months or so and all I remember feeling was excitement. I guess with your second you're so much more aware of how fast it's going. I can look at Elijah and easily remember him at this age and then do a double take when I realize he's not that baby any more, not even close. All in all I'm excited for Sophia's birthday, not sad. I'm excited to see her walk, I can't wait to see her run and play with her brother and cousins this summer. I can't wait until she's old enough to sit at the table and color while Elijah does school so I'm not having to constantly steal his pencil back from her. It will be fun to watch he grow up. Just not too fast!
As for Elijah, well, I think I might be having a harder time with him getting older. Probably because he's just so old. He's going to be five. FIVE! That's half a decade. I remember being five! Sometimes I stop and wonder which things he will remember when he's an adult. I guess that's what being a parent is all about. Making sure that when your child as an adult remembers their childhood, their memories are of nothing but happiness. So yeah, definitely a little more emotional about him turning five. I drove past our local Elementary school, just around the corner and saw a big sign for Kindergarten registration. Is it sad that I felt so relieved I didn't have to go through that? Obviously my number one reason for homeschooling is not so I can have him around me all the time, but I don't know, sometimes I feel like it's a perk. (Yes, and sometimes it's a curse!) Plus, since he's homeschooled, we'll be starting first grade next fall, not Kindergarten. WHAT?! Yes, it's crazy. He is such a good student though. I know I'm really lucky. He loves school and loves to learn.
I guess that's one good thing about having a big kid. Sometime they can be complete pains, talking back and not obeying. But occasionally, they go and do something that makes you really, really proud. And there's nothing like feeling you've done a good job with your kid, as a parent. I've mentioned that we go to a weekly Mom's group at our church. Elijah is one of the oldest kids there, most are 2-3, and babies. One of the moms told me the other day how wonderful she thought he was and I could have just exploded. I've been told this before, but I never get tired of hearing it. It sounds silly, but at our church I think Elijah has more friends than I do! All the adults love him as well as the kids.
Okay, I warned you and told you I was feeling sappy.
Sophia is getting baptised Sunday after next so that brings up a lot of emotions as well. Elijah was baptised a little older, when he was about two and a half. It's important to us. Promising to raise your child up in the church and teaching them about your faith. At the time they're so little it hardly seems challenging, but as they get older it gets a lot more interesting. I though this Easter was particularly great because Elijah could finally understand just what the cross meant to us, as much as a four year old can. Little by little he's learning, and it's fun to watch.
Anyway, my little birthday monkey is waking up after sleeping in super late, because she was up a bunch last night ugghhhh...