I have to start this post off with a disclaimer saying that I got up about four hours ago, at 5:45 to watch the royal wedding (which was AH-MA-ZING!) and had about a gallon and half of coffee already so I'm sort of...errr...pinging...
Anywho, I realized something kind of disturbing and slightly embarrassing about myself yesterday. I know, not again! The older I get and the better I know myself the more I think that I'm...well, weird.
As a stay-at-home mom/homeschool mom there is rarely a moment when I'm not with one or both of my kids. It hit me pretty hard the other day when I drove past the elementary school around the corner that Elijah could be going there in the Fall instead of being homeschooled. I could potentially have most of my day free with only a baby to look after. But it's not that simple, and I'd still much rather be homeschooling. Though there are times when it would be seriously tempting to get rid of him for a few hours. I'm kidding...sorta.
So anyway, it goes without saying that I'm almost never alone. Except maybe when I shower or go to the bathroom, and even that's not guaranteed. Even when I have to run errands or go grocery shopping I almost always take at least one of the kids with me, usually because Matthew has studying to do and can't watch both of them while he does this. But occasionally when I just need to run to the store really quick, I'll go by myself. Which brings me to my recent discovery.
I feel weird when I'm alone, like, really weird and awkward. Like I'm missing a limb or something. Which is basically what your children are when you go out, a extra, annoying limb. (ha). I guess I've always been an extremely co-dependant person, I can't really think of time when I've gone out somewhere by myself and actually enjoyed myself. Because of the kids I've gone to see the last two Harry Potter films solo, and even though I enjoyed the movies, I was constantly wishing I had someone to talk to during them!
I guess that's what it boils down to, having someone to talk to. Which is why, embarrassingly enough, when I go out alone...I talk to myself. Yup. Not like having a loud conversation with myself like a crazy person, but just sort of quiet mutterings. Which may sound equally as crazy if overheard. Nice, huh?
So I suppose it's actually a good thing I'm rarely alone, that way I won't look nearly as crazy as I am. And the next time I complain about my child talking far too much, remind me that I don't have a leg to stand on and what comes around, does eventually go around.