Thursday, March 24, 2011

I don't want to talk about it...

And by it I mean the two inches of snow on the ground outside!

What do I want to talk about? I guess what's at the forefront of my mind today. After all, that's why I have this blog, to be able to write about my thoughts on life and stuff.

So...Sophia has her x-ray and follow-up with the orthopedist tomorrow. This is her first one in the past four months. I guess I should start at the beginning so you can get an idea of the timeline. At her first appointment with her pediatrician when she was six days old, her left hip "clunked" out of the socket (that was the word her ped used). She told us she could have a loose hip and sent us for an ultrasound at Yale Children's Hospital. We were told a lot of babies have loose hips, so it could be nothing, or it could be something. I think it took a while to get the results back. But they informed us that she had "dis-locatable" hips. Meaning her hip sockets were looser than they should be. It took about another month or so, but eventually we got a referral for her to see the orthopedist at Yale. This meant another ultrasound of her hips and then her follow-up. At the time she was two months old. I guess I let the possibility that she might have grown out of it on her own go to far. Because I was completely blindsided when the orthopedist officially diagnosed her with hip-dysplasia and said she would have to be in a brace from now on. Not only that, she would have to be in it for 23 hours a day, for an undetermined period of time.

Now, I know it's not a big deal, compared to what some babies and parents have to go through. But I'd be lying if I said I handled it well. I cried, she cried, no one was happy to see that brace that day. I was assured her condition was very likely to be fixed by just the brace, though surgery or a cast could be in her future if she didn't improve. It took a lot of getting used to, but eventually we all became accustomed to her brace. Initially they gave us a follow-up six weeks later. At that appointment she showed improvement,which meant the brace was working, but not enough to get out of it. This continued for several months, little improvements, but not enough. By October they decided she had shown enough improvement that she could start weaning out of the brace. She was allowed four hours out a day for two weeks, then eight. Then finally, she only had to sleep in it. After having her in it all day, every day, four hours seemed like such a big deal! When we went back in November I was fully expecting, after the six-month weaning process, that they would finally say, "DONE!" and we would be able to toss the brace once and for all.

Since she was six months old then, she was finally old enough for an x-ray instead of an ultrasound. When we were waiting in the room for her follow-up one of her doctors stuck her head in the door and said, "Did you hear the good news? Her x-ray looked great!" I was so, so excited. But, the other orthopedist said that her left hip was still a bit "premature", and added, rather nonchalantly, that she should remain in the brace at night until she was nine months. To say that I was a bit stunned was an understatement. Maybe he didn't realize what that meant. But to me that meant three more months of not sleeping well at night for me and Sophia. (She was practically sleeping through the night at two months before she got her brace!) To make matters worse, they couldn't get her in for her next appointment until March, which meant four more months in the brace, just like that.

So here we are, that appointment is tomorrow and I don't know what to expect. Part of me, the really positive part, thinks that she'll finally be 100%. But the other part of me says, she hasn't gotten better fully after eight months, what makes you think it will happen now? I know it's silly, it's not really a big deal. She crawls and stands, so it can't be that problematic, right? But it's still a Thing. It's still something wrong with my baby and I don't like it. I'm ready to be done. I know she's probably used to it by now, she's slept in it every night for most of her life. So, what if they say two more months, or three, or more? As long as she gets better eventually, right? They said even if and when her hips are tightened up enough to get out of the brace they will still have to follow-up with her once a year until she's an adult, so I guess there will always be a Thing.

For now I'm staying positive, they basically said she was 99% better last time, so theoretically she should be 100% by now. And if she has to wear it a little longer that will be okay too. But I'd really, really like to be done.

I'll let you know what happens.

1 comment:

  1. Ohh that is so tough, Cacey! Having doctors give you hope that she's all better, only to find out she still needs the brace... that must be really frustrating. Sophia seems as happy as can be, though, and like you said - she's known it most of her life already, so I'm sure she probably doesn't even think twice about it :) I hope you hear god news tomorrow! We're going in for Eden's 8 month apt to the pediatrician, so it'll be easy for me to keep yall on my mind and pray for you! xoxo